Cultural Divide by Charleston Weddings Magazine

DECEMBER 1, 2009 Cultural Divide Span the distance between far-flung family customs, religions, and wedding traditions with finesse WRITTEN BY BRIDGET HERMAN PHOTOGRAPHY BY GISSENDANNER PHOTOGRAPHY Milan Patel and Rachel Bloom When Drs. Rachel Bloom and Milan Patel married at the Charleston Marriott on Lockwood Drive, they wanted to include all of Rachel’s Jewish traditions and all of Milan’s Hindu customs in their celebratory weekend. Thus Elyn Rahman of A Charleston Event & Bridal Library planned a wedding extravaganza ulminating in two elaborate same-day ceremonies followed by one big bash. On their wedding day, the Manhattanites (clad in custom-made saris) first knelt under a mandap, the sacred Hindu wedding tent, and were married by a Hindu priest. A few hours later, Rachel donned an ivory silk and taffeta wedding gown and Milan slipped into a tux. The couple then exchanged vows under a chuppah, the traditional Jewish wedding canopy. As Milan stomped the wedding glass, a rabbi sealed their union for the second time that day. To keep the couple’s celebrations cohesive, Elyn stuck with one location and incorporated the same colors throughout both events. Red and gold linens, along with ample armfuls of lush red and white orchids, brightened the Marriott’s ballroom, and both traditional Indian food and American fare were served. At the end of the night, more than 500 wedding guests hit the dance floor and celebrated the union of the happy couple—and their customs. Lowcountry lovebirds Josia Martin (an Indian expat) and Cooper Strong (a local son) also hosted a blended wedding, although they ran into a few planning challenges at the onset. The initial stumbling block occurred with their church. Both attend Christ Our King in Mount Pleasant, but Josia wanted to incorporate a few Indian traditions into the service, and local Catholic church officials were skeptical. Undaunted, Josia met one-on-one with her officiant to explain the spiritual significance of the traditions, and the church changed its position. “My uncle is a Catholic priest,” says Josia. “So he presided over that part of the ceremony and read in my native language, Malayalam.” When everyone retired to the reception at Hamlin Plantation, guests sampled both chicken tikka masala and she-crab soup while lounging on ottomans outfitted with pillows covered with Indian fabrics. In the end, the couple was thrilled with the outcome, and Josia advises brides in similar situations to create celebrations that represent the melding of families. Her top tip? “Anything special to either family should be included in the wedding.” Takeaway Tips for Blended Weddings • Successfully blended weddings are all about communication. Begin by discussing your dream wedding ceremony one-on-one with your partner. Together, make a list of “musts.” • Present your ideas to a wedding planner: they’ll help make the celebration cohesive. • Ask your planner for advice on talking to families if this promises to be tricky. • If you have more than one officiant, encourage them to work together while planning the ceremony. • Present your ideas to your families as a united pair. • Print programs that spell out special customs incorporated into the ceremony or ask officiants to explain rituals as they are performed. • Provide translations for foreign language segments so all guests can follow. •Print menu cards that name and describe all foods, local and ethnic. Head to the Holiday House! What are you doing this Thursday, December 3rd? A Charleston Event & Bridal Library is throwing a holiday social-slash-networking event for those in the bridal industry. That means the Governor Thomas Bennett House will be dressed to the nines by a host of great local vendors—but it’s not for biz folks alone! Brides who want to preview local talent in action can pop in, too. See you there! GIVING BACK CHEER, December 3, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Governor Thomas Bennett House; free, although a sealed envelope with a donation for Palmetto Project's Families Helping Families is required. For a complete list of vendors, and more, click here!
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Wedding Photography

Where are the days going? Seems like yesterday that we were planning and trying to decide what to use as a theme for Christy's wedding. Now its come and gone and we feel like we should still be working on it. Yep...wedding planners go through withdrawals too. Not just brides. After all the preparation, flowers, decor and orchestration, the finale seems like an anti climax and all of a sudden its over.

Which is what brings me to this subject. Thank goodness for photographs. These are your forever memories. They are a lifetime of reminders of the magical day you got married. They hold precious elements of the key ingredients that made your wedding so special. That's why if we can advise our brides to invest on any one thing during the wedding planning process, think carefully about your photography. This doesn't mean the most expensive. It just means hiring a professional who will get the photographs you are looking for. You want these photos to show your children one day.

When looking for a photographer, ask some very simple questions:

• How long have you been working as a professional photographer
  
• How many weddings do you shoot in a weekend
• Do you bring an assistant
• How long will he/she be with you on the day of your wedding
• Do they have samples of their work
• Do they have verifiable references
• How long before you will be able to see your photos
• How does the editing process work
• Will you be able to order online as well
  

Do not be afraid to ask questions. Its also a good thing to include a photo session of the two of you or a bridal session before the wedding once you've booked your photographer, so you can get to know each other more. Your photographer (and your wedding planner) will be the ones you spend the most of your time with on your wedding day.


We will be posting pics of Christy's wedding shortly, but the pic above is a sneak preview of her bouquet. I took this photo and just cannot wait to see the photos that Heather Forsythe took. The quality and colors, not to mention the focus will be supreme compared to my little 10MP Cannon.

In the meantime, here's some of the photographers we love:

Taylor Stewart Photography
Richard Bell Photography
Heather Forsythe Photography
A Charleston Wedding
Marni Rothschild Photography
Lowry McKee Photography

Christy's Update

OK...Christy is OFFICIALLY a bride now. She is in full swing last minute, check list, adding and subtracting, and final touches MODE. She is also now prohibited from contacting any of her vendors herself starting tomorrow. (Orders from her boss and co-workers). :)

Needless to say, we are ALL so excited for Christy and Chris as they start their lives together as husband and wife this weekend. The crew at Granville Catering are all poised to create the perfect wedding meal and rehearsal dinner. We can't give you any sneak previews yet of the wedding itself, but we can now give you a sneak preview of the rehearsal dinner menus.

Chris's mother chose a beautiful Southern Style Theme with starfish as the backdrop for the lowcountry feast. These were the invitations that were sent and we used the blank invitation paper as a backdrop to carry the theme through for the menus. Place settings will be laid with the napkins, menus and individual starfish for the guests attending. Family and close friends will be treated to an array of wonderful flavors as we toast the groom and his soon-to-be new bride this Friday evening. Cheers Christy & Chris. Can't wait until this weekend!

Cost-saving tips from Charleston Weddings Magazine

I could not have said it better. In fact, we all pretty much have the same advice when it comes to cutting costs in your wedding plans. See the article below and and check out Charleston Wedding Magazine's new blog.

Brides on a Budget: How to Set Your Lowcountry Wedding Budget & Save

Follow these five simple steps to learn where to put your Big Day dollars…and how to stretch them

Written By Melissa Bigner

One good thing about a tight economy? Budget is no longer déclassé to discuss. And nowhere is it more practical to address than for your wedding. Whether you have a seven-figure affair or the local average of about $25,000 to spend, sticking to that bottom line and stretching your dollars is the name of the game. Here’s how to put on your dream wedding without a disastrous bill.

STEP ONE: Establish how much you have to spend on your wedding.

STEP TWO: Apply these ballpark percentages to that figure to determine the dollar breakdowns.

• Reception (location, cake, food/beverages, rentals): 40-50%

• Attire (gown, tux, hair/makeup, accessories): 10-12%

• Décor/Flowers (ceremony and reception): 8%

• Music (ceremony and reception): 7-10%

• Photos/Video: 7-10%

• Gifts/Favors (welcome bags, reception guest gifts): 3-4%

• Ceremony (officiant, location): 2%

• Stationery (invitations, thank yous, postage): 2-3%

• Wedding Rings: 2%

• Transportation (couple, guests): 1%

• Miscellaneous: Remaining percent

*Don’t forget to add 5% of the subtotal for tips and taxes.

STEP THREE: Determine what can be done on your own, what can be farmed out to reliable family and friends, and what is best left to professionals.

STEP FOUR: See if these savvy solutions might work for you.

Location: Hold the ceremony and reception at the same location to eliminate double location fees and travel expenses. Backyard garden weddings obviously save money, too.

Guest List: Trimming your invite list is the fastest way to maximize—and save—your dollars.

Date: Pick an off-peak date and/or time (Saturday noon and on is peak time) and see if vendors and/or locations will cut you a deal.

TIP: They might be able to book more than one wedding that day; or they might not have any weddings on that day, which means they might be more flexible about rates.

Food: Brunch is less expensive than dinner; hors d’oeuvres are less expensive than a meal; “food stations” are less expensive—typically—than a formal, sit-down dinner.

Photograph by Peter Frank Edwards

Beverages: Elect for a signature cocktail and wine or beer, rather than an open bar to cut liquor costs.

Photograph by Peter Frank Edwards

Attire: Look for past-season gowns and local sample sales for deals. Off-the-rack white evening gowns can work as wedding apparel, too. Check out our fashion features here for inspiration.

Flowers: Choose blooms—or greens—that are in-season at the time of your wedding and the cost should go down. Work with local farms to see about growing blooms for your event. Look into wholesale local florists (they are open to the public) to source flowers and foliage. See what you can make on your own (wreaths, tabletop flowers, garlands) and what you need to hire out.

Cake: A dessert bar (homey cakes, pies, cupcakes, sweets) can be less pricey than a formal cake. And a smaller formal cake—especially one without fondant—with cut slices of sheet cake for guests also saves money. If you have a friend or family member who can bake and ice a pretty cake, you can dress it up with fresh flowers, and other DIY crafts. Check out what we did in the Summer 2010 issue here.

Photograph by Roo Way

Stationery: Instead of a printed menu, get creative. Chalkboard signs work for, say, a homespun supper reception at the Cotton Dock.

Music: iPod receptions are becoming more popular, but nothing beats live music for a ceremony. If cost is a factor, look into student musicians, but know that professionals tend to be more reliable. If you go the iPod route, you’ll still need to appoint a DJ.

Décor: Paper lanterns, mason jars with candles, ribbons streamers…there are lots of inexpensive—and environmental friendly—ways to save on décor.

Favors: Centerpieces fashioned from small potted plants and flowers can also be your guests’ “green” favor. Otherwise, make your own favors and welcome bags. There are great local bites here (grits, benne wafers, pralines) to share. Or make a donation to a local charity in lieu of a gift, in honor of your guests. State as much on the program.

STEP FIVE: Enlist a planner. Even if some elements of your wedding are DIY, a planner/designer/coordinator will help create your budget based on what’s important to you, make sure the Big Day looks cohesive, that service runs smooth, that everyone’s where they are supposed to be, and will be that cool voice of reason amid a lot of moving parts.


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How to prevent this

The internet is buzzing lately with the horrible story about the couple who returned from their wedding reception to find their apartment ransacked. The thieves even took the toilet roll off the holder and the clothes from the closets. It was a complete 'move-out'! So how could something like this possibly happen?

Every day millions of brides around the world are busy announcing their weddings, talking about the time-lines and making plans for their honeymoons. And...they talk openly about everything that is taking place. In restaurants, in the hair salon, at work, in the supermarket and just about everywhere.
This poor couple did the same thing and when you watch the clip, you may think to yourself, well that's just not possible where I live. But think again, after doing a little research, we've found that the most prime times for burglaries are, believe it or not, during weddings and funerals! As horrible as it seems, this is what professional burglars prey on. They scan through newspapers and scope out the sections with announcements such as weddings and funerals. This is when they are sure no one will be home. Not even neighbors, as they'll no doubt be attending too. They calculate and move with speed and can clean an entire 3 bedroom apartment out within one hour. People passing by will just assume its moving day and be none the wiser.
So how can you prevent something like this happening to you? Always lean on the side of caution and make preparations before your wedding. If you've announced your wedding and know you will not be returning to your residence before the honeymoon, then make arrangements for someone or a good soul neighbor to keep an eye on your apartment/home while you're gone. Enlist the help of a good neighbor to be particularly aware of the wedding day itself and report anything suspicious. If you don't know your neighbors, make it a point to introduce yourself before the wedding and also the local police department if you're going to be away for more than a couple of days. Better yet, see if you can find someone that will be willing to stay at your home while you're gone.
This posting is not meant to panic anyone or make anyone paranoid, but do be aware. Better being safe than sorry.
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Are you considering a Candy Bar or Dessert Table at your wedding reception?

Today's weddings incorporate fun and more whimsical ideas than the old fashioned traditional weddings where a served dessert and wedding cake only are served. Brides have a chance to show off their personalities by placing their favorite candy, popcorn or cookies at their reception and guests can treat themselves when they're ready or even take some home in treat bags.

When offering a treat bar, make sure it is easy access to all your guests or offer a server there to assist. If you are presenting your sweets in glassware, this will ensure there are no accidents.

Also consider having pre-packaged treats to send home with your guests with a short thank you note and a sweet dreams message from you and your groom. This will allow your guests to take a bit of your wedding home with them and enjoy the flavors even after the reception is over with.

Contact the Bridal Library for more ideas on customizing your wedding day celebrations with added treats! CLICK HERE
Photography courtesy of A CHARLESTON WEDDING

Charleston Wedding FAM

Are you interested in having a Charleston Wedding but really don't know where to start? Good news. A CHARLESTON EVENT & BRIDAL LIBRARY have teamed up with the local wedding venues in Charleston to present a stressfree, fun-filled weekend of tours, information and tips from the pros on planning a destination wedding in Charleston.

A Charleston Event are the creators and organizers for the original and informative Charleston Wedding FAM (FAM meaning familiarization). Travel in style while we take you through a step back in history and present you with beautiful historic homes and mansions, plantations and even more contemporary sites to hold your nuptials and wedding celebrations. You'll find surprises along the way as each site offers their hospitality to those who grace their premises and you may even get to see a few preparing for upcoming weddings while you're there.

For more information on Charleston Wedding FAM go to the website by clicking HERE.
The best news? Once your FAM is over, you're not left on your own. If you'd like to book any of A Charleston Event & Bridal Library's planning services, the cost of your FAM will be transferred over as part of your deposit. Call the Bridal Library today for more information on wedding planning services or visit the website BRIDAL LIBRARY.

You can also call our office at 843-494-9501 for more information on our upcoming FAMs.